Daily Motivation Long Distance Relationships

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Rarely do people ever get themselves into long distance relationships on purpose. Typically, what ends up happening is that couples become victim of circumstance, where one partner finds themselves needing to relocate. "An accidental long distance relationship example might be a situation where two people are dating early on and out of the blue one of them gets a job promotion requiring him or her to relocate," explains author Kevin Darné;. "Or someone is in the military at a local base and suddenly is notified that she or he will be deployed. Up until that moment things have been going very well between the couple and neither person has a desire to call it quits, so they strive to make a long distance relationship work. It's not what they signed up for but they'll give it a shot."

Another way that long distance relationships get facilitated is when one person ends up spending a lot of time in a different state or city for either work or leisure, and forms a connection with someone there. "A spontaneous long distance relationship could occur when one person is visiting another town, state, or country and ends up spending a great deal of time with a native," Darné; explains. "Oftentimes there is romance and sex which contribute to them having a wonderful time together. As the end of the vacation draws near they spontaneously decide to remain in touch and see where things go."

However, there are cases where both parties know that distance will be a factor they have to deal with before starting the relationship. "In a planned long distance relationship, one example might be high school sweethearts who, upon graduation have plans to go to different colleges but vow to maintain their relationship until they get their degrees," says Darné. "Another example might be two people who met online fully aware they live fairly far from one another where it's impractical to see each other on a regular basis, but nevertheless decide to romantically move forward."

As for how these situations differ in the way these relationships are carried out, Darné; says that it has to do with how long the distance is set to last. "In both the accidental and the spontaneous long-distance relationship scenarios, couples view their distance as a romantic obstacle they're determined to find a way to overcome," says Darné, "In their eyes fate simply dealt them a 'bad hand.' The biggest difference between the planned long-distance relationship and the other two is usually there is an end date set for when the couple plans to reunite permanently. Anything beyond one and a half years is usually too long for most couples."

What Real Women Say: "We met on a dating site, so when you don't set an amount of miles, you're bound to meet someone long distance," says Eileen, 41. "He was from Maine, an eight hour (or more!) car ride away. Emails turned to chatting, to texts, to phone calls. There was a connection. We met in person and decided we could give it a go. We didn't really discuss what would have to be done, and that was a mistake. We only lasted a year the first time. The distance was too much and too expensive to maintain. About a year and a half later we tried it again. This time we were more conscious of what's involved. There is a whole lot of insecurity that arises in long-distance relationships. Staying consistent helps — set phone call or FaceTime times. Have dates over the phone, watching the same movie together. See each other as often as you can. Texts throughout the day just to stay connected help. We now play words with friends together, and it just keeps us connected and lets each other know we are there. Surprising each other with a card or something in the mail or flowers at work is a great way to keep the romance."