New Brooms

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To the Editor of The Idler

Dear Sir: Though I am not one of your subscribers I am, I believe, one of your most faithful readers. I do not take your magazine, it is true, but I am at present employed in a family some member of which is evidently a subscriber, as the maid brings it out in the waste-paper basket regularly, once a month, when, according to her custom, she permits me to select from the month’s periodicals such journals as seem to me to be worthy of my attention in my leisure hours. I shall not conceal from you the fact that my fancy was first attracted to your publication by the fact that I always found it fresh and clean, with the leaves still uncut, and not soiled, bedraggled and often coverless as are some of the others which suffer more usage before reaching me. But having once cut the leaves with a convenient bread-knife and looked through one of your numbers, I perceived at once that you are, in your way, something of a philosopher, and I have ever been partial to everything that smacked of philosophy. Could you step into my pantry at the present moment you would find upon my shelves Plato and Aristotle as well as the immortal Mrs. Rorer, for I am, in my humble fashion, a philosopher as well as a cook. I do not at all agree with that learned and talented French gentleman who declared that to study philosophy was to learn to die; on the contrary, I hold that to study philosophy is to learn to live, and I see no reason why the study of philosophy is not as fitting an occupation for a cook as for a collegian.

SOME OF THE CHAPTERS ARE:-

I A Philosophical Cook

II A Bachelor on Women

III On Pensioning Writers

IV A Puritan in Bohemia

V An Arraignment of Originality

VI A Flattering Tribute

VII The Riddle of a Dream

VIII Beds for the Bad

IX Is Chesterton a Man Alive?

X From a Hunchback

XI From a Hotel Sponge

XII From Sarah Shelfworn

XIII From Anna Pest

XIV From Seth Shirtless

XV Sartor-Psychology

XVI Mr. Body Protests

XVII On a Certain Condescension in Fashion Writers

XVIII Of Looking Back war

XIX The Literary Life

XX The Poetic License

XXI The Necessity for Beggars

XXII The Abuses of Adversity

XXIII The Science of Making Enemies

XXIV The Fate of Falstaff

XXV The Reward of Merit

XXVI The Blessings of the Blind

XXVII A Tale of a Mad Poet’s Wife

XXVIII The Lock-Step

XXIX The Fruit of Farm

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